While I Should Have Been Sleeping….
It’s 2:41 am here and I should be sleeping right now, but I just wanted to get an entry in even though I didn’t do an illustration. I’ve been pretty consumed with getting ready for Tammy’s Memorial and for flying home on the 28th. But I like to keep up with this site when I can.
I’ve been feeling better this past week. The week before that, I was crying every day. No fun! I still battle low feelings. There are good days and bad, but this week has been mostly good. I think it’s just a stressful time right now and things will calm down once I get into my new routine at home. My sister and Mom said I’ve been doing a lot better. They can see a real difference in me. And some friends and relatives have emailed me saying that I sound much better too.
I wrote some morning pages (three pages of longhand writing) today and want to keep doing them, as I’ll be starting the course called The Artist’s Way again soon. It’s a book that helps anyone find their creativity and use it. I’ve done it once already, and think I’ll get even more out of it this time around. The follow up book is called Vein of Gold and I haven’t been able to get through that one yet, but maybe I will if I do it right after I do the first one. The books are by Julia Cameron and I recommend them highly. It gives you a boost and some help for exploring all kinds of creative ideas and projects. I know that I’m ready to go through it again, even though it can be quite intensive. I wasn’t ready to do Vein of Gold the last time I tried, because I wasn’t really well at the time. I was at a point where I had stopped writing anything on paper, and for me, that’s not healthy. I was resisting it and probably because I knew on some level that I wasn’t well.
But I’ve been able to write in my paper journals here and even have a new one to use when my blue suede one is filled. I’ve got some project ideas written in it already. Yep, this online journal was never meant to be a substitute for my handwritten journals, as I don’t always reveal personal things here. It doesn’t mean I won’t ever write freely, but just that I choose when to pull back from saying everything that’s on my mind. Yet, it’s sometimes hard to read between the lines, so I’d like to be a little more frank more often, rather than feeling that I should censor everything. After all, I started this thing to communicate with family and friends, and I’ve been a bit vague and withdrawn this summer, in my opinion. So, it’s good to share my thoughts with you all…even those of you whom I haven’t met. It’s nice to write some lengthier entries again, just so long as they are of interest to a handful of people. And I’ll keep up with the drawings and paintings for sure.
Well, that’s it for tonight…I’ll leave something for tomorrow. Thanks for all the cool emails I’ve been getting. I’ve actually surprised myself in being good about responding. Maybe that’ll make up for my lack of writing real letters. Email has made me lazy. But don’t be surprised if in the next week you get something in your mailbox. That probably sounds like a hollow threat. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t! You’ll just have to wait and find out!
