Un-Enchanted April
I’ve got lots of ideas brewing..if anyone still stops by, I’m hoping next month will be more geared towards the artwork side of things.
I kind of knew that I wasn’t ready to start “Vein of Gold”, so for now, I’m sticking with the daily walks, and doing morning pages.
Honestly, these past 3 weeks or so, I’ve been totally disorganised, not taking the best care of myself, and really questioning what I’m doing and what I want. I’ve been ’stuck’ and it’s time that I get back on track. I won’t rush it, but I am ready.
Told Cameron that I’m not going to commit to illustrating children’s books at this point, because if I really wanted to do this, I’d be doing it now. He already knew this, as did some of my family. I have been telling everyone, as well as myself, that this was the goal I wanted to pursue. It’s hard to admit it, but it’s not what I want. Not right now anyway.
But I do want to be an artist. So that’s what I’ll focus on. Just creating. Creating my portfolio and selling my work in various forms.
Yeah, I’ve been “down”, but nothing too serious. In fact, it’s just a normal case of ‘the blues’, which is pretty much over. I used to freak out when I got sad..like I might get severly depressed again or something. But now that I know to be aware of my moods & habits, and can rely on those who love me and know the situation to tell me if things are getting out-of-control, I am not worried.
I think it’s an opportunity actually. I welcome these times to start taking care of my needs, to meditate, and to get to the bottom of what’s not working for me. I used to get caught in a downward cycle of being negative. Now, I am more pro-active and I’m happy to change things. Like a breeze of fresh air. A cleaning of house.
It’s not very often these days that I dwell for very long on everything going wrong… rather, I try and change my perspective, my thoughts, my actions. And my husband is a gem, because he’s the one who says things like:
“Don’t worry about what ‘needs’ to be done, what you ’should be doing’. Just get out there and walk everyday. If you walk, it’ll fall into place. Walking clears your head”
He’s right. It does work. We both know this from past experience.
So, if this site has been too quiet for you this April..perhaps you’ll find a more “Merrie Month of May”~
On a bubbly note:
There is ginger beer in the fridge. YUuumMmmmmMMmmmmmmMMM!
April 27th, 2004 at 3:54 pm
i admire the way you deal with feeling low. that’s such a great perspective to take on things.
when i was a little girl i used to tell people i wanted to write children’s books and illustrate them when i grow up. (something else we have in common!) i still have that as a dream.
April 27th, 2004 at 4:59 pm
You have a great way of looking at things Amy. I also admire you and how you take control to change your perspective on life. More power to you. Ginger Beer? I love Ginger Beer! I’ll toast to a bright Winter for everyone!
P.S. Cam sounds like my wife Jane, she believes a good walk is a cure for most ills too!
Stay well and creative.
:-)>
April 28th, 2004 at 8:08 am
Thanks, Kat!
Yeah..since age 12 I’ve been telling people that was my dream. (My inspiration to illustrate started at age 6, when I used to visit my Uncle Tim & Aunt Marie. They had the book ‘Gnomes’ by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet. I’d pore over it’s pages while the adults talked. I still want to get my own copy someday.)
I think around age 20 I lost interest in illustration and really wanted to oil paint. But it’s taken me a looong time to say "O.K. I don’t want to illustrate". I still am very inspired by illustrators of all eras and mediums, but it’s not something I want to do right now. I have a feeling I will someday though..
Set some goals for your dream though!! I love your work!
Cameron,
What your favourite one? I love Bundabergs and Nippys. The others haven’t compared. I used to like a ginger soda they had in Philadelphia..but I forget what it was called. It wasn’t the same taste as ginger beer..not very sweet at all. Quite good though.
I also love Vernor’s ginger-ale in the States..much less watery and more gingery than regular the regular kind.
Dry ginger-ale is nice too.
What can I say? I’m a ginger connoisseur! I also cook with the stuff!! Stir fries, meat dishes..tea, gingerbread..all good!!
*A tip for fresh ginger: Store it in the freezer..it keeps longer and is easy to grate.
So yes..a toast to a bright winter! What a lovely thought.
Thanks for the encouragement. And I will stay well and creative!
April 28th, 2004 at 8:23 am
Hey mate, thanks for the msg in my journal.. Id love to come over again…I even joked with my psychologist that id alternate weeks seeing you guys and her.. So that when I cant see her… I can come and sort out my shit with you guys haha.. Its nice to be around ppl that you can talk the truth with… I was actually thinking of comming to visit this saturday night but I dont have any money to shout dinner.. Will have money in a months time.. Hopefully haha… So ill have to wait til then…
Id really love to make staying over at your house a regular thing… I had a great time…
Anyways I hope all is well with you guys… Say hi to cam for me… Talk to you soon.. Love mel :o)
April 29th, 2004 at 4:17 am
Mel,
Who said you have to shout dinner? We’ll have enough. Come over on Saturday.. & bring the dogs. I’ll call you later today.
xo Ames