I’ve got lots of ideas brewing..if anyone still stops by, I’m hoping next month will be more geared towards the artwork side of things.
I kind of knew that I wasn’t ready to start “Vein of Gold”, so for now, I’m sticking with the daily walks, and doing morning pages.
Honestly, these past 3 weeks or so, I’ve been totally disorganised, not taking the best care of myself, and really questioning what I’m doing and what I want. I’ve been ‘stuck’ and it’s time that I get back on track. I won’t rush it, but I am ready.
Told Cameron that I’m not going to commit to illustrating children’s books at this point, because if I really wanted to do this, I’d be doing it now. He already knew this, as did some of my family. I have been telling everyone, as well as myself, that this was the goal I wanted to pursue. It’s hard to admit it, but it’s not what I want. Not right now anyway.
But I do want to be an artist. So that’s what I’ll focus on. Just creating. Creating my portfolio and selling my work in various forms.
Yeah, I’ve been “down”, but nothing too serious. In fact, it’s just a normal case of ‘the blues’, which is pretty much over. I used to freak out when I got sad..like I might get severly depressed again or something. But now that I know to be aware of my moods & habits, and can rely on those who love me and know the situation to tell me if things are getting out-of-control, I am not worried.
I think it’s an opportunity actually. I welcome these times to start taking care of my needs, to meditate, and to get to the bottom of what’s not working for me. I used to get caught in a downward cycle of being negative. Now, I am more pro-active and I’m happy to change things. Like a breeze of fresh air. A cleaning of house.
It’s not very often these days that I dwell for very long on everything going wrong… rather, I try and change my perspective, my thoughts, my actions. And my husband is a gem, because he’s the one who says things like:
“Don’t worry about what ‘needs’ to be done, what you ‘should be doing’. Just get out there and walk everyday. If you walk, it’ll fall into place. Walking clears your head”
He’s right. It does work. We both know this from past experience.
So, if this site has been too quiet for you this April..perhaps you’ll find a more “Merrie Month of May”~
On a bubbly note:
There is ginger beer in the fridge. YUuumMmmmmMMmmmmmmMMM!