Still recovering from my slight relapse of mania. The nurses and doctors that I talked to said that as you get older, the episodes of mania can be more severe and take longer to recover from, but I feel lucky to have such a good support team of family and friends around me. Some people aren’t so lucky and they don’t get the help they deserve.
I’ve got a lot of emotional instability at times, but I can usually center myself pretty quickly. I don’t defeat too easily… and it takes quite a bit to bore me. So, I have a good imagination and I try to use it well each day. I am planning future artwork and writing when my vision is slightly impaired and my concentration is shot. I form the ideas and tuck them away for future use.
There are really really good and productive days, and then there are days where I feel like nothing is going right and I cry quite a bit. I don’t want to hide this from anyone, because I know that talking about it empowers other people in the same state.
I want to draw a self portrait today, but if I find I can’t, I always have an alternative: my camera! My camera is one of my lifelines, as is the music I listen to daily. So, in lieu of a drawing today, I’ll give you a photo. (When I get the self portrait done, I’ll post that, too.)

More and more “thank-yous”, for all the support and love.
I am more than a wee bit excited, shall we say?!

I see the “critical assessment team” today and my Dr. on the 26th again and he’ll be able to see how I’m faring. So far, feeling much much better. Feeling more “myself”, mind isn’t racing, head’s not in the clouds (well anymore than usual), my thoughts are clearer. I’m sleeping better…just starting to, anyway. I’m not so much of a chatterbox space cadet, as has happened in the past. He he.

I’m taking daily walks now, and practicing meditation, when I feel up to it. I may go do a 20 minute session after writing here.

I can tell I am doing well, because I am organized enough to do some cleaning, cooking and some artwork; like creating the new layout for this blog, which takes some brain-power because I do some coding. (I did it all myself. Cameron only helps me with really tech-ie stuff..he’s taught me a lot that I am able do on my own.)

Cameron and I are hanging in there. He HAS been a big support to me, despite the fact that when I am starting to get border-line manic, I tend lash out at him and blame him for EVERYTHING. We are good friends again, even though some people didn’t have a clue that we fight when I’m ill. I wanted to publicly apologize here to him. I hate to hurt anyone, and he’s the last person I’d want to do a hatchet job on. I’m not sure if it is like this with anyone else with bipolar disorder, but plainly put: it SUCKS.

On the good side, I am eagerly awaiting a call about my eTickets, planning a weekend trip with Daniel to see friends in the country and hopefully getting 2 tickets to see R.E.M. in Philly (with my friend Kelly), through the help of Cameron and his band-wrangling ways. I will not be trying to score them for free, mind you. I want to pay for them! I’ll just have to set my my Etsy shop, now, and do some portraits for people who have asked already- won’t I?

I’ll keep you updated yet again. Any comments on the new layout? I may play around with the layout size, or some extra white space in the masthead sometime down the line. Is the pinky-salmon good? Or too pastel, in your opinion? I wanted something warm. But now I kind of want it to be a warm green…Dunno? Calling all artistic minds!

Here are some current photos of me, so you can see that I’m happier and healthier; Amy, the garden and the gazebo:

With your help, I am quickly on the mend.

My big news?

I am planning to return home to PA BEFORE Easter, if possible.
I will see the doctor in 2 weeks, have a physical done, maybe a few sessions of talk therapy. Pack only what I dearly love and can not replace. And have the lightest carry-on bag possible. I want to travel lightly. Because I feel lighter in mood, it will be easier to get around, and they have plenty of entertainment on the plane and in the airports. A notebook and journal for ideas, and a magazine or two and my beloved ipod should see me through!

It is exciting, non?!

Today I am going to help Daniel with house-cleaning for a little while, and I’m going to do a bit of shopping for things such as movies, sunnies (sunglasses for you ‘mericans! he he), and travel prices.
I’ll be around online later in the afternoon or early evening, prob.

Have a fantastico day, mis amigos.
Will be in touch for sure!
Aloha, xo Amy

Here’s a very recent picture of me, in my summer hat, playing with our sexy new camera. More picture to come, esp. of the house we’re in now. (Staying at a friend’s place while looking for a new home.):

Well, got the rest of the house-sitting pictures up for y’all. Things are flying for us.. can YOU believe it’s the middle of January already?! We can’t!

No lizards in this batch, I promise, Chhavy! Just Boids.

A few weeks ago I gave meself a new look, which I’d been contemplating for at least half a year. I have not had bangs (aka a fringe) since before I was a teenager. (We won’t count that brief early-1990′s fling with the fluffed-up wispy bangs that complimented my frizzy poodle perm. Blergh.)

I need a photo opportunity. I want a shot at redemption. Don’t want to end up a cartoon, in a cartoon graveyard. Bone digger, bone digger. Dogs in the moonlight. Far away in my well-lit room…
-P Simon.

Things are very good here. It’s so nice to be located near all our dearest folk -on this half of the world, anyway!

p.s. HAPPY B-DAY SARAH! Woot-woot!

Wrote this entry a couple of days ago, but have been too busy to post it.
Hope everyone is well. We are on the mend. I still have a bit of a sore throat tonight, but have more energy and am thankful for the gorgeous weather we’ve been having. More walks in the fields with the dogs. Cam has been feeling much better. Visits with friends and family, and plans for more this week. I can feel Spring in the air too. Thank goodness!

I’ll be in touch. This site seems to be behaving itself once again, (knock on wood!)

Here’s what I wrote on Thursday:

A few days ago I started feeling good enough to walk the dogs in the paddocks (fields) adjoining our yard. Saw droppings that I didn’t recognize -being the talented bush tracker that I am now (Well, I DO know what wombat scat looks like)- and told Cam about them. He said it sounded like Kangaroo, which is what I’d suspected. Yesterday, while taking laundry down from the line in the early evening, I happened to look up past the pond when Goldie started barking. Lo and behold, a kangaroo was sitting right past the pond (known here as a dam), staring over at us. WOW! So I scurried the dogs inside, and told Cam to come out with the camera. We didn’t get any new pictures, because the ‘Roos were quite fast as they bounded to the larger pond/dam down the hill. But what a sight to see them along the horizon! I’m glad we watched it rather than waste time trying to get a good shot!

Here is where I first saw them:

The weather has been warming up enough to make things more bearable. I’m still on antibiotics, still have a sore throat, still lethargic, but feeling wonderful in spirit, nonetheless. Although last night I went to bed very early, and very grumpy because I’m tired of being sick!!!

Today, this poem resonated deeply with me:

Starfish

This is what life does. It lets you walk up to
the store to buy breakfast and the paper, on a
stiff knee. It lets you choose the way you have
your eggs, your coffee. Then it sits a fisherman
down beside you at the counter who says, Last night,
the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder,
is this a message, finally, or just another day?

Life lets you take the dog for a walk down to the
pond, where whole generations of biological
processes are boiling beneath the mud. Reeds
speak to you of the natural world: they whisper,
they sing. And herons pass by. Are you old
enough to appreciate the moment? Too old?
There is movement beneath the water, but it
may be nothing. There may be nothing going on.

And then life suggests that you remember the
years you ran around, the years you developed
a shocking lifestyle, advocated careless abandon,
owned a chilly heart. Upon reflection, you are
genuinely surprised to find how quiet you have
become. And then life lets you go home to think
about all this. Which you do, for quite a long time.
Later, you wake up beside your old love, the one
who never had any conditions, the one who waited
you out. This is life’s way of letting you know that
you are lucky. (It won’t give you smart or brave,
so you’ll have to settle for lucky.) Because you
were born at a good time. Because you were able
to listen when people spoke to you. Because you
stopped when you should have and started again.
So life lets you have a sandwich, and pie for your
late night dessert. (Pie for the dog, as well.) And
then life sends you back to bed, to dreamland,
while outside, the starfish drift through the channel,
with smiles on their starry faces as they head
out to deep water, to the far and boundless sea.

- Eleanor Lerman

Some more recent pictures. I’ve been snap-happy again:

Our “front yard” :

Our “back yard”:

The large pond/dam at the bottom of the hill. (Just past the property we’re on):

Goldie wandering by the banks of the large pond:

My self portrait, taken in reflection of outside of the studio window. (A bit hard to tell, but the smaller pond is in the background. Because of the drought, water levels are quite low. Last summer there was no water in it at all, but it’s recovered a little this winter.):

Gorgeous irises from Cameron on my bedside windowsill:

Iris detail:

The wonderful moon through the tall eucalyptus trees at dusk:

Here I am painting, in the cheery yellow knit hat that Christine gave to me the other week:

And, I’ve saved the best for last!
The whole family had to try on this fuzzy “dandelion” hat! Tee Hee!: