after the fight,
I stormed from the
cool of the bluestone house
into the dry dirt yard
my face as hot as my temper.
the dust swirling at ground level.
the dogs followed my furious steps
down to the low paddock
where the lone horse named leo
leaned into the stand of
decades-old eucalyptus trees
that had grown into one another
over the course of several years.
the dogs with noses to the ground
were disinterested in my emotions.
they caught the scent of rabbit and wandered
a little ways off, zig-zagging past one another.
the horse shook his brown head
to fend off flies, so I took my hands
and cradled the long face
as the tickle of his soft nose hit my ear.
I was at peace here.
the land and the animals, my sanctuary.
I continued on, climbing over the wire fence to
where the dogs now had been trying to find
a fresher track. the dam was deep, cool
and the width of a river.
our golden dog jumped straight in,
and then out again,
and I watched the ripples of water flow,
echoing out from his disturbance.
O the memory of the day’s heat,
the bellbirds’ chirping ringing
high throughout the tree tops.
now my mind searches through memory for
other days there. for fascinating kookaburras,
for skinks, blue tongued lizards, cormorants,
storks, and heron and ibis.
i hold on to glimpses of draping
silvery green eucalyptus,
in both long and short leaves.
magpies caroling at dawn, and
a hillside of grey kangaroo cautiously grazing.
errant foxes skipping through the long grass,
swiftly clearing fences in the still-early mornings.
the sulfur crested cockatoo with their
dreadful screeching in flocks above.
the yellow tailed black cockatoo
cheekily squawking to each other in
the stand of tall pines as they feasted upon
bats at dusk, rats drawn to the horses feed.
spiders of all description:
huntsman are big, but lookout for the redback and whitetails!
Once, a copperhead sunbathing on a rock.
possums growling in the night, and
playing at chase once the stars emerged.
periwinkle, kangaroo paw and freesia growing
wild in the neighbour’s paddock and
the red bottle brush, ever bold.
Our yard dotted with melaleuca bushes.
the reddish sunset, and now anger, for the most part, erased.
The mournful lowing of cattle from a nearby farm.
The dogs barking. the cool of the house always waiting.
These scenes, played over in my mind,
bring both longing and peace.
O my peace,
my piece of Australia!
Archive for the 'Critters' Category
after the fight,
I am having a rough time. I did talk to Cameron tonight. Please pray for me to recover. I don’t want to die, but I do have thoughts of death. I can walk, write and draw but I do not feel like doing anything but singing and dancing and acting. The thing that gets me happy are the blue flowers I wear in my hair at night and the pink veil I dance with. It makes me remember I am an artist and that people are love. I feel happier at the thought of it. I will do more things to make myself well so that I can inspire others again.
Even if you don’t celebrate it, happy Spring, solstice, happy party time! I’m doing really well and hop(e) that you are too!
Yesterday, Cameron and I made a visit to the beach and spent the day happily collecting shells, wading, taking photos and walking in the surf.
I can’t believe how little time we have together now, but I think we are both ready for it, as much as we can be. My stay in the U.S. is going to be a long one, because I am staying for many months, indefinitely. I have spent far too many years away from my family and friends, and my mental health is literally at stake over the whole thing, due to my bipolar disorder, in part. I need my support system around me, not that I don’t have one in Melbourne; but even the landscapes and culture of my homeland are things from which I feel torn. I also often miss out on seeing people I intend to visit, with such a short window of opportunity during visits, especially in the winter, with bad weather and busy holidays.
My brother gets married in June and my sister is having a baby in August, and I don’t want to miss out on Easter, Mother’s Day, 4th of July, Birthdays, Christmas or the simple everyday fun we have as a close knit group, yet again this year. Cam is going to try and get to my brother’s wedding in June. Then it will be played by ear. There is much more that goes into the whole thing, and it will be explained later on, after I’ve had some time to sort out feeling, needs, wants and the rest.
But, back to the beach.
It was a gorgeous day, warm with a brisk and refreshing breeze and we’d wanted to eat at our favourite restaurant there, but found out that a bill had been payed from our bank account earlier than expected, so the funds were not there.
We ended up compromising and going to a small Turkish restaurant, which was just as good, because the food and service there are excellent, and they play lovely Middle Eastern music. I love the atmosphere. (It is not the same one which I mentioned here before, Cafe Umut. I’ll give you the name of this shop once I look up the right spelling.)
The girl who brought us our meals seemed happy and breezy as she prepared things, and she did a little dance when walking back and forth from the kitchen. I smiled and laughed with her, at her playful manner. Cameron and I found that it was a blessing in disguise to be eating here rather than the other restaurant. Just as good a meal, for less cost, good music and a happy, yet quiet, atmosphere. We were the only ones in the place at the time, because it was just about 3 pm.
As we were paying our bill, and getting ready to leave, the girl who had served us said to me, “I can’t let you go without telling you that you have such beautiful eyes! I just had to tell you that!” And I thanked her for that sweetness. I was really taken aback, because it’s a rare thing for someone to come forward like that to be so complimentary. I was touched and it made my day that much brighter.
It just makes me think that if we treated each other this way all the time, how wonderful would our life become? Sure, we all have our grumpy, sour or blah moments, but focusing on other people to smile and laugh with them, or tell them something positive about themselves seems like a most important thing to me, even if the words aren’t many. Something she said, which could seem little, had made my day. Maybe some people live this way every day. I hope to become one of them! Are you up for the challenge? I call for more genuine compliments for people we do, and do not, know! It seems so important in days like these. It IS so important!