9 Moons Ago

Just a brief entry to express my enormous gratitude to my family and friends who have helped make this whole week, before my surgery tomorrow morning, less stressful and so much fun! Thanks for the overwhelming support I’ve gotten from everyone, since my diagnosis of breast cancer in early June, while we are at it!

I’ve been getting emails, letters, flowers, cards and phone calls from all over. To those of you who’ve written or tried to contact me in the past months, I have been sketchy with staying in touch, but I am thinking of you for sure, and glad for your continued thoughts and prayers. There will be plenty of time for me to use my new stationery in November! He he.

This past Sunday, I thought my Mother and Dad & I were going out to eat with my Sister and her boys at a favorite restaurant. When we got there, I saw Kathy inside right away, standing up and holding Blaine, and then I noticed EVERYONE. They shouted “Surprise!” and I definitely was surprised! Two tables full of family and friends, almost 30 people all wearing pink in some way or another, with candy, balloons, gifts and a cake!
Thought it was great when my Uncle Barry came over and said, “Well, I’m wearing red, which is related to pink” and he pointed out the “Oklahoma” logo across the front, saying “I also wore Oklahoma, because you’re going to be O.K.!”
I received cards, some lovely journals, a beautiful drawing from my cousin’s daughters, Lexie and Abby, the softest cozy pink socks and a box of gummy bears, which I shared with the kids till their food was ready. Other friends who couldn’t be there helped in planning it, and because it was short notice and a small place, not everyone was invited, but we’ll have to have another party, down the line!

I was not expecting this in the least! You got me good, guys! Such a big thanks to my Sister, who thought of it and organized everything, as a spur of the moment thought just a week beforehand! Our crew took up two thirds of the small dining room!

As for the surgery, I’ve only been anxious in the last couple of day, but mostly have been distracted with all the emails, letters, cards and visits from the people who make my life wonderful! Thank you ALL, near and far, for such incredible fun, joy and love!

So, yep, tomorrow at 6am I’ll be in the hospital, but knowing just how many people are supporting me (multiply the number from my party, oh, about ten thousand or so! :-D) will make things that much easier! And, as I told my Mother, couldn’t have planned a better month for this, October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Some pictures from the party, taken by family and friends:

Thanks everybody! Lots and lots of love, Amy

There is no video, but this way you can hear the whole song. I heard it for the first time today on wxpn. So pretty! I bought it on iTunes for 99 cents.

O La Pago Yo O La Paga Ella (Marino Pérez)

Either I’ll Pay or She’ll Have to Pay

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

Oye, cantinero
Traiga otra botella
Oye, cantinero
Traiga otra botella
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

La mujer que tengo
Eso parte el alma
La mujer que tengo
Eso parte el alma
Su boquita sabe, mamá
A melado de cana
Su boquita sabe, mami
A melado de cana

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

Cuando yo amanezco
Con ganas de beber
Cuando yo amanezco
Con ganas de beber
Pido una botella
Llamo a mi mujer
Pido una botella, mami
Llamo a mi mujer

Mamacita linda
No seas tan rechula
Mamacita linda
No seas tan rechula
Que me estás matando mamá
Con tu sabrosura
Que me estás matando
Con tu sabrosura

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

Cuando ella me dice,
“Pide lo que quiera”
Cuando ella me dice,
“Pide lo que quiera”
Seguimos bebiendo
La semana entera
Seguimos bebiendo, mami
La semana entera

La mujer que tengo
Eso parte el alma
La mujer que tengo
Eso parte el alma
Su boquita sabe, mamá
A melao de cana
Su boquita sabe, mami
A melao de cana

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

(Guitarra…)

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

Mamacita linda
No seas tan rechula
Mamacita linda
No seas tan rechula
Que me estás matando, mamá
Con tu sabrosura
Que me estás matando, mami
Con tu sabrosura

Cuando yo amanezco
Con ganas de beber
Cuando yo amanezco
Con ganas de beber
Pido una botella, mami
Llamo a mi mujer
Pido una botella, mamá
Llamo a mi mujer

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo o la paga ella
O la pago yo o la paga ella

Me voy a beber
Dos o tres botellas
O la pago yo…

————————————

English translation:

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

Hey, barman
Bring me another bottle
Hey, barman
Bring me another bottle
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

The woman I have
It breaks my heart
The woman I have
It breaks my heart
Her little mouth tastes, mamá
Like sugar cane syrup
Her little mouth tastes, mami
Like sugar cane syrup.

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

When I wake up
With a desire to drink
When I wake up
With a desire to drink
I ask for a bottle
I call my woman
I ask for a bottle, mami
I call my woman

Beautiful little momma
Don’t be so sweet
Beautiful little momma
Don’t be so sweet
Because you’re killing me, mamá
With your tastiness
You’re killing me
With your tastiness

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

When she tells me,
“Ask for whatever you want”
When she tells me,
“Ask for whatever you want”
We keep drinking
All week long
We keep drinking, mami
All week long

The woman I have
It breaks my heart
The woman I have
It breaks my heart
Her little mouth tastes, mamá
Like sugar cane syrup
Her little mouth tastes, mami
Like sugar cane syrup

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

(Guitar…)

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

Beautiful little momma
Don’t be so sweet
Beautiful little momma
Don’t be so sweet
Because you’re killing me, mamá
With your tastiness
You’re killing me
With your tastiness

When I wake up
With a desire to drink
When I wake up
With a desire to drink
I ask for a bottle, mami
I call my woman
I ask for a bottle, mamá
I call my woman

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay
Either I’ll pay or she’ll have to pay

I’m going to go drink
Two or three bottles
Either I’ll pay…

Today I am feeling so much hope and happiness. I have a sense of the upward spiral beginning again. Thank you all for your concern. Got a nice haircut today and haven’t felt low in a couple of days. Played guitar and piano and took a walk with Ike and enjoyed every minute of it. Feeling flat at times, but it’s easier to laugh and feel alive. Please don’t worry, I’m OK. Love to all! xo Amy

Well, I have done it again.
Last week I was in the hospital for a little under a week, to help me get back on track with my sleeping and meds. I have bipolar disorder and have written about it several times already. Feel free to browse the archives. (They are a little messed up at the moment, so it will take some wading, but it’s worth it, in my humble opinion, if you want some insight from someone who lives with this daily.)
The hospital is not the thing that I want to write about at the moment, though.
I want to write about a fun, yet not-so-fun, aspect of this illness.

The celebrity crushes.

I am not sure if anyone else with bipolar disorder routinely suffers from this weird affliction, but I certainly do.

I was first diagnosed with mental illness in 1995, when I’d just turned 21. About September 30, to be exact. At the time I broke down I was at an R.E.M. concert. And my crush was a certain Mr. John Michael Stipe. (I’ll never get over that one, I’m afraid..he was a crush since I was 16. Too bad he’s gay! ;-D )

Well, that crush was the one that lead me to believe that he was in the hospital with me. I told my friend, Tammy, that one over the phone and she half-believed it and was, needless to say, very very confused! Hee hee.

Fast forward to my next hospitalization, and it’s February 2005, Melbourne Australia. I am in the hospital because I believed that Garrison Keillor was sending me dedications over the radio. Yes, everyone reminded me of his age, his looks and that he had a wife and child. That didn’t make it any easier. I decided I needed to get over that one, but it was a painful process. Did I mention that I had a husband at the time? Yes, indeed. That was not my concern. Also, this husband took me to the Melbourne R.E.M. show, where I got to meet Mike and Peter. Can you say “Make the crazy woman even higher without the aid of cocaine?!” Yes, I knew you could! However, since Garrison was supposedly out of the picture, I went back to crushing on Michael and could not believe he had the audacity not to show up to the bar where we were hanging out with the other guys.
I KNOW!

Now it’s three years later and I’m crushing on someone new. He’s 12 years older than me, has grey hair, blue eyes, freckles, is Glaswegian and so hilarious. I watch him at 12:30 am because I knocked out a deal with my family about my bedtime schedule. (Routine is very important when one has bipolar disorder.) He’s a talk show host named Craig Ferguson. I’ve scared my sister good already. I don’t know if she knows, but I’ve read an entire book written by him and watched a movie called “Saving Grace” which he wrote and starred in.. Mom agrees it is great. However, I won’t be trying to email him or get in touch with him because, though I have mental illness, I AM NOT CRAZY! :-D HAaaa.

Crazytown is where I live right now, but it’s not where I want to reside forever. So I’ll crush from afar, and maybe, just maybe I’ll end up crushing on Stipe again after this next concert on June 16…guess who? That’s right! R.E….. oh, you know the story of my life already…. so I’ll just shut up and sigh over this new-to-me drummer/author/actor/writer/comedian. *SIGH*

So, who are YOUR crushes? Crazy or not. Celebrity or nae…