9 Moons Ago

When you have too much time on your hands you are “killing” time.

When you don’t have enough, you try “saving” time.

When you are enjoying it, you are “spending” time.

Which one are you doing today? Any others that you can think of?
I am doing the first and the last…

I am not one to talk about my religious views unless I am unwell. (see Bipolar Disorder category or my about page for details.)

Today is different. I am well, and I am tired of my church leaders telling me how to vote. There has to be a clear separation of Church and State in my opinion. I will not talk on this forum about my personal views on abortion and such, where things can get twisted too easily.. but I will say that I think it is morally irresponsible to go on tour and tell people that voting a certain way will change anything re. the abortion issue. That is idealism at it’s worst.
People in the Church voted for Bush on the premise that he would change laws in the favor of pro-life. Back then the preists weren’t blatantly saying “you can VOTE to change CERTAIN things”, they merely hinted at it, never said the V-word in my Parish, though the wiser ones would have easily seen through the thin veil.

I shudder to think that this priest is starting “a mission” and traveling to speak near and far and possibly persuade voters to pool their voices on this ONE issue, when so much faces our nation while it is in crisis. I do not want to listen to something that sounds all too much like propaganda and zealots who can not step back and see the bigger picture.

Say what you will about abortion and whether it is killing a life and if it is emotionally and spiritually harming the parents and grandparents involved, just keep from telling me HOW TO VOTE!

Because bipolar disorder can throw me for a loop, it can take months after an episode of mania till my thoughts are clear, my vision isn’t blurred and I am not as easily distracted as a puppy with her choice of bacon, liver snaps, a new ball and squirrels all around.

This time it’s been a struggle and sometimes the weeks feel like months, but I’m trying to relax and be gentle with myself. So until I can draw and paint, I am “hand-tinting” photographs in photoshop. I’ve always been interested in portraiture and love life drawing, so I am going to “work with people” in my current pieces. Eventually I’ll be scanning some artwork that isn’t digital or computer-based. Until I feel comfortable enough with a pencil in hand, I’ll have fun this way.

So far, I’ve worked on a portrait of my best friend, Tammy, and of my hero, Michael Stipe (from the band R.E.M.). I got the idea of make-up from his usual stage theatre type of makeup, but I don’t know if I’ll do every portrait that way..we’ll see how it goes.

Believe it or not, I took my first step by “pretending” to paint, dragging empty brushes against the computer screen. The idea sort of grew from there. You do what you gotta do! If you find you are struggling with something that seems unbearable or heavy, I don’t know what to tell you except that it is easier to give up and give in.

It is harder to accept the feelings, but push yourself hard enough to put one foot in front of the other …and then…. take it easy long enough to “fall in a new direction”. Sometimes letting go a bit can give you the answer. I think of it like when you are on a swing and you pump your legs until you’re quite tired, and then you drag your feet against the ground to slow down and let yourself swing a bit wildly and loose and twist up the chains a bit, or go upside-down or just jump off the swing altogether, to land in the soft grass.

Even when you are not struggling, it is good to let yourself break free from the routine of what has always worked in the past.

I like the sound of this one. Been “hanging out” (as they say Down Under) for R.E.M. tix which are supposed to be going on sale this weekend:

April 06, 2008

Libra (9/23-10/22)

Pick a cultural event that’s coming up and get some tickets for it today. It’s time to inject your life with a little dosage of high art — an opera, touring musical, play, art opening, ballet, or modern dance performance would fit the bill nicely. Bring one of your more adventurous friends with you and make a whole arty night out of it. Even if you don’t love every minute of the experience, the dedication to pure creativity will inspire you greatly.

Update: Got my 2 tickets to the Philly show and my biatch, Kelly, is coming with! WHOOO. I’m super excited! Seriously.